This is part of a previous interview with a birth mom. One thing the social workers are often asked by prospective couples is how the expectant parents choose the family, or what things stand out to them when looking at a profile book or reading letters. It's different for every expectant parent, but here is what one birth mom said when reflecting on her experience....
What drew me to them... I wanted *Ethan to grow up in a similar way as our other kids. Seeing their pictures and reading their story probably 100 times just to make sure there wasn’t something I missed or that stuck out that didn’t feel right. Every time I read it I got a little more reassurance and felt some kind of connection to them. I had shared with Mike the link to take his time to see if any of the couples stood out to him. I had picked my top ones and he had then picked his 3. We had not shared with each other who we liked until one day at the same time we shared with each other and Jason, Alexa, and Carson (their son) were at the top of both our lists! I liked that Carson was the same age as my other son. The things they initially shared in their story about Carson spending time with dad learning things, as well as time with mom cooking, etc were similar to how I wanted him to be: well rounded in that way like my other kids. Upon meeting them for the first time, they were easy to talk to. Alexa reminded me of Mike, being more outspoken, and Jason reminded me more of myself, being maybe more shy/conservative in a way. We also found we have a lot of similar interests! There was some connection I felt with them right away. I also really liked how they had been through [an adoption] before and the openness they had with not just Carson’s parents but that his grandparents were in contact as well. Not one day has gone by that I have regretted picking them!
PS When we FaceTime or get together Carson and my son are like 2 peas in a pod and kind of like long lost friends in some weird way. They talk to each other right away and had done that from the first time they talked/met. It’s like another way God is reassuring me that this was how it was meant to be.
*Names changed for confidentiality
Working with expectant parents who want to make a life-affirming decision. Preparing couples to grow their family through domestic infant adoption.