We work with expectant parents of many ages and backgrounds. Some of them have financial concerns, others have goals regarding school, and we see a range of relationship statuses. Some birth parents are already parents. They all want the best for their child. The truth is that making an adoption plan is a very loving act of self-sacrifice, not an act of abandonment. Expectant parents who complete an adoption plan often are people who have the maturity to put their child’s needs above their own.
What do your services cost?
We offer free, confidential services to expectant parents. You can come for a free pregnancy test and our decision-making counseling will help you sort through your options and consider the many important factors that are impact your choice.
Does talking with an agency mean I have to choose adoption?
No. You have your entire pregnancy to make that decision. We walk with you through the range of feelings you may experience during the process and help you when it is time to complete the legal steps for adoption once baby is born.
Does the father of my baby have any rights?
You will have the opportunity to share your situation confidentially to your case manager. We believe it is important to be honest and upfront about the father so we can provide the best help for your circumstances and your baby’s future. Birth fathers do have the right to know about the adoption plan, and though some birth fathers are reluctant when they are unfamiliar with how adoption plans are made, we offer information and counseling for them individually or with you as requested.
How do I know if adoption is the right decision for me?
Your decision to parent, abort, or place a child for adoption is one of the most important, difficult, and life-changing decisions you will ever make. Weighing the many factors before making a choice is something our pregnancy case manager can help you with making the best decision for you and your baby.
What if I'm not sure about my decision after my baby is born?
We can find transitional care so you have enough time to feel confident in your decision. There will be tough days before and after baby is born, and we are available to listen whatever your choice may be. Any loss in life is accompanied by grief. Understanding the grief process and choosing to walk through one’s grief in a healthy way can also “enlarge the soul” of the one who grieves, leading to increased maturity and richness of life
Will I receive updated information or be able to stay in contact with my child?
Yes. We’ll discuss what your preferences are and your case manager helps pair you with an adoptive couple who matches the level of openness you are comfortable with. Letters and pictures are sent from the adoptive family until the child is 18 years old, and we either facilitate passing those to you or holding them until you are ready to receive them. Every adoption is unique, but most of today’s adoptions are more open than in the past. There can be visits arranged and birth parents can send updates, birthday cards, and small gifts to the adoptive family throughout the child’s life.
What if I do not know the identity or how to find the baby's father?
We work with expectant women in a variety of situations, and will work with you to make sure the adoption is legal and permanent. Any information about the birth father is helpful, and there are different steps to identify the father in North Dakota and Minnesota.
Can I have a relative adopt my baby?
Expectant parents can choose a family member in their adoption plan, but there are still laws regarding the transfer of parental rights to that person/couple. Your case manager will have information on designated/identified adoption and help you plan for your child's future.
How do I know the adoptive parents will take good care of my child?
CAS carefully screens all adoptive parents in regard to their health, financial stability, emotional well-being, home readiness, and we complete a federal background check. Adoptive families are educated on parenting a child whom they adopted and the relationship with birth families.
Research shows that having two healthy, involved, loving parents who support each other in their parenting roles contributes positively to a child’s self-esteem, relational health, financial well-being, and future educational and occupational achievements. Having a father as well as a mother provides a male role model.
What about medical and maternity costs?
We can help you with budgeting, and if needed, we can also connect you with The Perry Center, a maternity home which is our partner ministry. Our pregnancy case manager can guide you in applying for medical assistance and if there are additional medical expenses or maternity-related costs, we can discuss if the adoptive couple you choose is able to assist with these expenses.
Will my child understand my decision or will he/she hate me?
Children ask many questions. Children who have been adopted will ask about why you made an adoption plan. He/she will first and foremost learn that you sacrificed to make the best decision for them and put his/her needs as the highest priority. We ask you to write a letter to your child that can be given to them when their adoptive parents feel it appropriate so that you can tell them in your own words about the brave choice. The opportunity for correspondence throughout the child’s life will also take away some of the mystery and open the door for healthy conversation with parents over the years.